The first time may have been in the rain
in elementary school when I tried it and ran away
and tripped and fell in the gravel
Once a girl tilted my head back in the playground
and kissed me softly, full on the lips.
I pretended I didn't like it,
but I still remember how the sun shone
when she laughed afterwards.
I kissed a girl down by the river once when she cried.
When I left, she wrote me letters
and kissed everybody else while she waited
One girl made kissing a game, one I always lost.
We sat in the kitchen, talking about forcing locks
and maybe breaking them.
All I know is that I never got in.
I found someone I could hold in the dark and not see,
even though I started kissing with my eyes open.
The next morning I always wished that my eyes
would stay shut.
I kissed a girl I never should have, ever
Then I learned how to be kissed by someone I didn't know,
someone I watched all night,
someone who tasted like whiskey and cigarettes.
I felt it coming and I knew then
that one of us would remember it as a mistake.
Now, not even dream-kisses are innocent.
--Z.T. Oct 30, 1998
Poems: Kisses (again)
Last Edited: 22 Jul 2000
©1999 by Z. Tomaszewski.